Just try not to laugh



Go on then. Try.

Halloween is a confused time of year for Sophie.

She always mixes it up with Easter.

Just try to find a pumpkin in April.

Go on. I dare you.

Are you there Dog?

It's me, Sophie.

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Wordless Wednesday

We're Doomed

After pooping in the woods,
Sophie met Fuji ...

... and then promptly sat down to ignore him.

She's such a snob.



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FYI
The view from the Westmount Summit,
the location of Sophie's most recent photo shoot.



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Guess what Sophie just did?

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The key is in the kick.

This is not Neil




Clearly, this is Veda,
and Veda is clearly a Bassett Hound.

She lives down the street,
right next door to attack cat.




She waits on the sidewalk every day
to get her belly scratched.

Sophie totally ignores her.
I love her.

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A dog with no name

We meet this fella on walks quite often.
As with all dogs whose names we don't know,
Sophie calls him Neil.

Sophie is home.

She's been playing with Photo Booth on the MacBook.

It seems to have given her an inflated sense of her artistic abilities.
She's decided to change her name to Andy, dye her hair white,
recruit other dogs, open a factory and become famous.

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I convinced her that a nap was a better idea,

but she is insisting we film it.

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Dear Friends and Foes,

You saw it for yourself. She pinned me down on the floor and dragged me off to Possum Place, while she went to the nation's capital, Ottawa. It might have had something to do with the throne speech, but somehow I doubt it. Harper usually throws her into a rant and I don't think they would appreciate that up on Parliament Hill. I would offer to pee on Parliament Hill, and maybe even on Harper, if I weren't in lock down.

I get out of the clink tomorrow. I've said it all along. Beware of the ones who always want to hug you. They will only disappoint you in the end.

xo
SB

p.s. So far, no possum sightings.

Sunday afternoon in Montreal

Nicknames for the Beasticus

Back by popular demand, Sophie's nicknames:

Chicken
Tweetie
Twinkie
Twinkie Doodles
Sophielulu
Sophinder
Sophaninanoonoo
Sophoober Bradoober
The Beast


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Mingling

Sophie met this little fella on one of our regular walk-abouts.

I can't remember his name, but it is something like Edward or Gilbert.
Sophie prefers to remember him as Neil.


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Back in the 70s, punk icon Patti Smith used to pee on stage. Sophie Brador thinks that's cool. That's why Sophie is so angry that I went to see Patti Smith in a beautiful, neo-baroque church in Montreal and did not take her. I tried to explain to her that Patti is now 60, and although in every sense embodies the spirit of peeing on stage, she probably would not actually pee on stage. Sophie thinks the difference is a moot point.



WARNING: If you are somewhat conservative, you may not wish to view this piece of excellence from the Pop Montreal Festival last Friday night. Patti Smith played at L' Eglise Saint-Jean Baptiste, on the Plateau in Montreal. If, however, you appreciate "Punk's Poet Laureate" and enjoy a little racy Allen Ginsberg, check it out. It was a brilliant, brilliant show! Holy doodle.


P.S. Check out Mollie's interview.

The Joe Stains Special

Joe Stains, one tough terrier dude, was granted an exclusive interview with Ms. Sophie Brador. He asked some mighty tough questions, but after consulting with her publicist, Ms. Brador answered every one of them. No tears!

Here is an excerpt from that interview:


JS: If you could star opposite any current heart throb, who would it be? Canine or human, I don't care which.


SB: I googled current heartthrob and I have to tell you, a rather sorry list of leading men came up. I think Corey Feldman and Sigmund Freud were both there.

I want to say Jon Stewart, because I think his wife is a vet and he always goes to the mat for the pups. Or Ellen, because she likes dogs and has a big place. They’re both current, but neither one is a heartthrob.

I could pick George Clooney, because he has a villa in Italy, but his head is kind of big and squarish. I could go with someone like Tom Cruise, just for the opportunity to upstage him and then maybe bite him in the &^@#!%

In the end, I’m settling with Kevin Bacon. He’s not exactly a heartthrob and may even be anorexic, but he’s kind of weird, which I like, and he’s connected to everyone! Plus he lives in NY and that’s cool.



JS: If you could cut loose and get away with anything for a day, what would you do?

SB: Swim! and then eat as much raw chicken and rabbit as possible, and then if there is still time, maybe go to the dog park and attack all the dogs I don’t know. Then roll on a dead fish and eat some cat poop.



JS: Would you be so bold as to share a truly undignified moment with us?

SB: Are you sure you want to hear this story? Okay. Tell all humans to set aside their lunch, because it may not stay down for long.

Okay, so, on Labour Day weekend, I went swimming in a really great lake (scroll back about a month). On the beach was a young. Let’s just call him Pooper Jr.

Pooper Jr. was not all that interesting to me, frankly. He was just some four-year-old human, playing in the sand beside us. No big deal and not at all interesting until he pooped on the beach, right beside us. The humans thought it was disgusting. I thought it was temptation beyond reason and the first opportunity I got …..

Come to think of it, that wasn’t undignified at all. The reaction of the humans? That was undignified. They started screaming and yelling things like “oh gross!” Then there was more screaming and gagging and then they made me go swimming. Fine with me.

Come to think of it, I have never had a truly undignified moment.


JS: If you could spend the day with any DWB member, who would it be and what would you do?

SB: Oh boy. That is really tough question. Oh boy. Oh boy. Okay.

Wally, because he is so cool and always has lots of eatables around.
Stanny, because he is the President of the Republic of Gooberstan and has great taste in music.
KuBrin, because I adore him and want to go live with all the SUMDs in Berkshire.
Asta, because she’s cute and lives in the village in NYC and I love it there.
Pippa, because he lives in Spain. Need I say more?
Freda, because I am fascinated by the way she counts.
Ernest, because he is flat, sometimes, and subversive, always.

Wait …. I guess I can only pick one right? Okay, easy.

You, Joe Stains, because you are soooo frackin’ cool! And maybe you could take me to your granny’s for treats and scritches?


JS: If I had a um friend that thought you were very pretty do you think that friend might have a chance to get a kiss from you if we er I mean if you guys ever met?

SB: I would totally give you er um your friend a kiss, because I totally like the tough boys and you er um your friend must be a tough guy or he would not be your friend, right, Joe Stains?


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Sophie Brador and her management team would like to thank Mr. Joe Stains for his time and patience, and most of all his attitude.

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In keeping with this fine interviewing tradition, Sophie has agreed to the following fine print:

1. If you are interested in being interviewed, leave me a comment saying, 'interview me.'
2. I will respond by posting five questions for you. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Sophie will not show her face,
and nor should she.

She should be embarrassed, but no no no.

This beast is far too proud to admit,
or even realize,
that she got her ass whooped by a kitty.

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This is not the cat that attacked Sophie,

but a reasonable fascimile thereof.

This is the stalker cat, who lives down the street.
He follows us down the block every day,
hissing and moaning.

This is the cat that Sophie should have gone after.

Instead, she went after a gentle,
trusting cat named Dingo, as he slept in the sun.
Sorry, no photos.

Fortunately for Dingo, he was quick on his paws.
Fortunately for Sophie, she was smart enough to close her eyes.

She emerged from the dust with tiny little spots of blood all over her face

and around one of her eyes.
But the beast does not learn!
She was ready to get right back in the ring.

We haven't run into this little dude since the Dingo disaster,
but Sophie is on the look out.


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Coming soon: Joe Stain's exclusive interview with Ms. Brador.

A Rare Sophie Smile

Scant moments before being attacked by a cat.

Details to follow.

Later.

First, the beast must pee.

Outside.

...