How horrifying is this?
The Thing does not leave the couch.
Man!
Even I don't go on the couch.
I can, but I don't.
I have no use for such furnishings.
I have my amazing bed, which you've seen,
and my box and my other almost as amazing bed,
and I don't have to put up with anyone hugging or kissing me.
If I go on the couch, suddenly I'm getting snuggled and
slobbered on by those annoying people.
But check out the Thing!
And it hates my dog walker.
Imagine!
How could anyone hate my dogwalker?
She is the single greatest human being who ever lived.
The Thing tried to bite her.
Imagine!
I should have taken it out right then.
Who would blame me?
I could have claimed self-defense.
After all, if she bites my dog walker,
I may never get walked again,
and that would just kill me.
My dog walker is going to be here any second.
Maybe that's my chance.
