this man is a huge asshole

Just saw a press conference with Michael Vick.
He says he's turning his life over to GOD.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sounds like the easy way out to me.

If he really wants to repent,
he should turn his life over to DOG.
My DOG would be happy to help him repent.


P.S. I don't think I heard him apologize to the dogs he killed. But admittedly, I found his apology so utterly meaningless that I just wasn't willing to listen to the whole thing.

Sophie is devastated.
The Weekly World News has ceased publication after 28 years.
What will happen to democracy in the media after this?

William Wegman - The Hardly Boys

Appropriately subtitled in German, in keeping with Sophie's foreign film starness. Unfortunately, Sophie is not a weimaraner and therefore, didn't make the cut.

P.S. This movie is 6 minutes and 34 seconds long, so get yourself some popcorn.

Sophie the Party Animal

Unbeknownst to me, Ms. Brador has been sneaking out and partying it up in Scotland. Or so says Ruby Bleu from California, who apparently flew her over there on her private jet.
Well, at least she dressed appropriately in her foreign film star garb. I just hope they could understand what she was saying without her subtitles.

No wonder she seems so lethargic and, frankly, a little hungover.

Jessica the Hippo

BIG DOG!

Alternate uses

for a treadmill

It works beautifully as an elevated dog feeding station.

I'm a marketing genius.
These guys should pay me for the promo.

Gooberstan Who's Who?

Recently inspired to think about that old Canadian classic, Hinterland Who's Who,
by the awfully cute Gooberstan,
I dug up this old gem.

WARNING:
Contains words, music, images, and overall themes that may be offensive to the young, sensitive, or lacking in humour.

WARNING ADDENDUM:
Extra funny for Canadians.

HELPFUL HINT:
For those of you who may not get the reference, please click here and witness what every young Canadian, circa 1960s, grew up on. Hinterland Who's Who

She's home!

And boy, does she smell like the dog kennel. She smells exactly like her x-aunt's basement used to smell. Her x-aunt used to kennel three or four dogs at a time in her basement, and it always had this weird smell. It was doggie, but beyond.

So Sophie will get a bath, but not until she has had a good sleep, and big hello with the boys next door, and a lovely dinner.

First stop on the way home was the Jean Talon Market



This is Sophie's favourite shopping adventure because she always gets lots of raw carrots, there are always lots of berries and bits rolling around that she can scavenge, and she always gets lots of attention. NO big cuddles, mind you, but attention nonetheless.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.....

SOOOPHIEEEEEEEE!



If you snuck out of your cell and are reading,
hang in there furry one.
I am on my way!

I just need to get on one of these,

AC110 Calgary to Toronto


and then one of these,

AC430 Toronto to Montreal


and then get in this,

my not very impressive car


and then come and get you.
at Possum Place

I promise you massive hugs
(even though you will pretend not to like it),
raw bones,
sweet potatoes,
and a big swim in the river.

AND

You can sleep on the bed every night for the rest of your life.

JAIL SUCKS

I snuck out to the front desk -- they're all out scooping poop or something. It took me a while to figure out this weird PC machine. I thought Apple had taken over the world. Who wouldn't want a computer you can eat?

Anyway, I just wanted to get word out to the masses that jail sucks! Sure, there are some cute boys here, and Balto is super snuggly, but jail is jail is jail.

HELP!!!!!!


And by that I mean, get me the hell out of here!!!!!!

Sophie is at a Possum Place.

I don't know why it is called Possum Place because we have never ever seen a possum there. Thank god!!!! They freak me out. I didn't want to leave her, but was very happy to find out that she is bunking with Balto, a good friend from the city. He is young and super affectionate. He might actually drive her insane because of that, but she knows him and his family and loves them all.

Nonetheless, lock down is lock down and she'd be happy for any files or escape plans you can send her way. If anyone wants to spring her, go for it. Just make sure I get her back on August 15th.

Sophie is going into lock down tomorrow.
Two weeks.
I can hardly stand it.

=====

La Bibliothèque du Sophie

Being of rather intellectual lineage, Sophie is hungry for knowledge (as well as eatables) and an avid reader. Even during the hot summer months, she demands heady material; the sort of thing she can really sink her teeth into. The following are some of the more recent additions to her library (with apologies for the flash
photography).



Folklore you say? You may want to read Dogzilla before you decide. Sophie read this account with great interest and although she finds certain aspects of the reportage to be suspect, she generally concurs with other dogstorical experts that this is as accurate a telling as any of the great beast.

*****

I picked this up for Ms. Brador at flee market in Calgary, Alberta. Published in 1966, it explores the myths and legends surrounding the relationship between man (because it was 1966) and dog. Sophie couldn't care less. Instead, she carefully extracted the one colour plate from the book and had it matted and framed.

Dog-headed St. Christopher, Byzantine icon.

Reproduced by courtesy of the Byzantine Museum in Athens. Sophie went through months of negotiation with the curators in order to publish this image on her blog.

*****



Sophie has long insisted that there is more to the Italian art scene than crucifixes, the Virgin Mary, and great leather boots. This little gem proves it! Sophie picked this up at the Uffizi in Florence and despite the bad English translation, believes it to be a first rate dogstorical account of the history of painting, if not the world.


*****

Having once considered a medial career, Sophie is fascinated by anatomy. Is it any wonder she found How Dogs Really Work titillating?

*****

Earlier this summer, Sophie felt the need to take stock and reevaluate the choices she made in life. Having had many fabulous careers, Sophie has always assumed the ordinary life was far too ordinary for her. But why? On what did she base this assumption?

Thanks to William Wegman, she was able to explore alternate career choices and consider the life she could have had. Sophie now considers What do you do? the best self-help book on the market. As a result of her self-reflection, she feels contented to be nothing more than a former foreign film star, a former Russian ballerina, and a former contortionist with the Cirque de Soleil. It's all here for the curious.

*****

Being a nudist, Sophie was naturally drawn to Naked. It also helps that David Sedaris is ridiculously funny, clever, witty and all such similar things. If he weren't an ape and gay, Sophie would flirt with him relentless.

*****

It's Art Spiegelman. What else is there to say other than, who can resist a book on a leash?

*****

Stayed tuned for the next installment of La Bibliothèque du Sophie in which Ms. Brador will share some of her favourite puppyhood books.

*****

Cha Cha went home yesterday.

I was trying to find a photo of a teardrop to express our sadness about her leaving, but all I could find was this:

The Super Deluxe Teardrop Trailer

Now we are obsessed with the idea of going camping. Can't you just see Cha Cha counter surfing in that kitchen.

Cha Cha we miss you! But we will probably see you in the park later.

In honour of Just for Laughs
a major, world famous, mighty big comedy festival
that happens every year in Montreal,
Sophie has decide to become a stand-up comedian.
She has loads of material, but is having difficulty balancing on her hind legs without falling over.

Is this my future? Say it isn't so.

For the past few months, there have been a lot of dogs in and out of the L'Hotel Sophie. It should come as no surprise that we here at the famous hotel love dogs a whole lot.

Now for those of you new to this blog, you might be surprised to learn that la grande dame Sophie is none too affectionate. She is not interested in snuggles and cuddles and is most certainly not interested in sleeping on pillows. With a beast like this, certain latent conditions could quite easily linger under the surface .... unknown .... undetected .... until .... Cha Cha

That's right.
I am allergic to Cha Cha.

Well, not Cha Cha exactly, but dogs precisely. I am allergic to dogs. I have long suspected that this might be the case, and after three weeks of excessive snuggles from my favourite cuddly and affectionate beast, I can deny it no longer.

I am allergic to dogs.

Once upon a time, I woke up one day and was allergic to cats, and while this made me sad, I had firmly established myself as a dog person so, you know, whatever.
But this?!
This is karmic retribution for something. Something horrible. What did I do?



Now fear not friends and foes. Sophie Brador is going nowhere! She will continue to live out her days, unsnuggled and uncuddled, just as she likes it, until the day she gets fed up with me and says enough is enough. I will probably turn to the bottle, lose my job, and waste my days listening to Paris Hilton's album or playing online poker. Once your discover you are allergic to dogs, what else is there to do?



Special note to sa mere: Cha Cha will continue to receive excessive snuggles and cuddles until your return because I love Cha Cha, and even though she is making my eyes itchy, I just still love Cha Cha and am still thinking about keeping her and never giving her back to you. Except that I probably will. But you never know. Maybe not. Sophie loves her, I love her. We might just keep her.

Another note to those note familiar with Cha Cha: She is only here for the month of July, and as much as we love her and want to keep her for ever, her owner will be returning from a trip to Europe this very weekend and reclaiming her beast. Don' t worry! I am not getting rid of Cha Cha. She is actually just a house guest.

The Package Arrives

Sophie may appear sad, but don't be fooled.
She is guarding her loot from Cha Cha.

Confident that Cha Cha will not approach ...
or trusting me not to let her ...
she begins the process of unpacking.

mmmm .... paper ....... mmmmmm ...... plastic

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Chewy stick things!!!
(Is this a bully stick?? We don't have those in Canada)

And the price in the Cracker Jack box
.....
the über famous Wally magnet!



Sophie's response:

Wally, my mentor, my man.
xo
Sophie Brador

THANKS WALLY AND MA APE!
Sophie loves loves loves everything in her goodie bag.
She even shared a bit with Cha Cha,
but refuses to let her look at the magnet.

Look closely .....





is that who I think it is?

Je vous présente

Squeaky Pink Pig Princess


___

Cha Cha murdered the
Squeaky Green Frog Princess

Some of you may remember this:






It is with a heavy heart that I leave you with this:

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming
to bring you the following message from our sponsor.

Ironically, this is the very thing Cha Cha said
after peeing on my floor yesterday.

Private message to sa mere: she still dislikes the vacuum.

Nine Odd Ball Google Searches

In no particular order, with presumed Disappointment Factor (DF)
on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most disappointed
when the searcher reached Sophie's Blog.


1. Funny rules for pooping
Rules? Like where to poop? I can only assume it is fetish related.
DF: 6

2. Northern Ontario scary beast
May there is a sasquatch in Northern Ontario and it is as beautiful as Sophie.
DF: 7

3. Anti drool nip tuck
My heart goes out to the dog who was subjected to this. And to the people who subjected the poor dog to this, may only horrible, horrible things happen to you.
DF: 10

4. Scuba dog cha-cha-cha
No deep sea diving here, but lots of cha-cha-cha!
DF: 4

5. Dog cha cha woo
Clearly, they found what they were looking for. Either that, or it is a fetish thing.
DF: 1

6. Rules for being a nudist
Being a nudist, I can't see how Sophie could disappoint.
DF: 0

7. Sophie the go go dancer
Ditto, except that she doesn't show her belly, ever.
DF: 3

8. A free no money bassett hound
Those bassetts are so easy.
DF: 5

9. Cat poops in bath tub
Again, with the fetishes! Is this all people think about?
DF: 6


______

I call this piece
Exercise in Futility

These three were not cut out for print work.

It's the catwalk only darlings.

Thanks Jen, Lola, Penny & Sherman
for sending this great book full of
fabulous info on switching Sophie to a raw diet.
She's drooled all over it already.
We're sending a special merci beaucoup in the mail too.

The Best of the Best of a Morning Play

to be continued....

My turn

As some of you may know, we were tagged by that damn Wally to share some info on me, the human half of this duet. If you read back a few days, you will see Sophie's interview with me.
That's all well and good, and she did ask some tough questions, but she is no Barbara Walters. She barely made me squirm, let alone cry, which is more than I can say for her.

Below is the transcript of my interview with Ms. Brador. It was not pretty.

Sherry (S1): Bonjour Mademoiselle Brador.
Sophie (S2): What?
S1: You said you were bilingual.
S2: Sure I am. Donner moi un biscuit svp.
S1: I'm going to ask you some questions.
S2: Fine, but I thought I was S1.
S1: I'm in control now furry one.
S2: Oh, I hate it when the power shifts.
S1: Would you agree that you went out of your way to ask me some difficult questions?
S2: I was just doing my job.
S1: I'm going to ask you some tough questions.
S2: Fine.
S1: I'm just doing my job.
S2: Fine.
S1: Okay, Sophie, here goes. Many are calling you a slut. What do you have to say about this?
S2: Ridiculous.
S1: These charges are not unfounded.
S2: I'd like to see the proof.
S1: Well, Sophie, it would seem that over the past two or three months, you have forged relationships with no less than five dogs. Maybe more.
S2: Get real.
S1: Are you denying this?
S2: Give me names.
S1: Wally.
S2: We're just friends.
S1: You have his picture up in your box.
S2: I look up to him as a mentor.
S1: Uh huh. Twix.
S2: He moved away.
S1: It doesn't change the fact that you were getting pretty hot and heavy with Twix, while also flirting outrageously with Wally.
S2: I told you, Wally is my mentor. There is nothing going on there.
S1: Uh huh. Orson.
S2: Orson pursued me. I didn't want to be mean.
S1: You could have just said that you were otherwise occupied.
S2: He's young. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Besides, who does it hurt?
S1: Finnegan.
S2: Finnegan begin again.
S1: Stop evading the question.
S2: Casey and Finnegan. I miss Mr Dress-up.
S1: Enough, Sophie! You can't deny that you have been flirting with him too.
S2: So what? Stop being such a prude. Look at me. I'm gorgeous. How can I deny these boys my beauty.
S1: Mon Dieu.
S2: I have never flirted with him!
S1: No kidding. But you have flirted shamelessly with Bear.
S2: That was only to help him celebrate being an official fiver.
S1: So you're telling me that your slutty actions are a public service?
S2: Dog gone straight!
S1: Oh, we're not even going to go there.
S2: Whatever.
S1: Do you want a cookie?
S2: Yes.

_____

Happy Canada Day!
by the way

_____